The Gospel According To Steel
In the beginning, there was STEEL. And then the Almighty Power
said, "Let there be Deck!", and there was Deck and it was good.
Then Crom said, "Let there be towers as high as the Mountains!" �And
he sent forth his disciples to spread the word, to build the great Monument
and bring forth the vermin. "Let them show their faith with Hammers and
Wrenches. Let them show their faith with Bimbos and Wenches! Build the
great Towers as wide as the Seas! Make them wide and make them tall,
then Deck them, Deck them, yes, Deck them all!"
On the second day, the Winds were unleashed and blew across the lands.
To this Crom sent forth Saint Pattern, Guardian Angel of Diagonals. "Let
there be strength! Diag the tower throughout the day Diag the Tower every
which way! Diag the Towers, Diag them all.� Give them the strength
to never fall!
And Crom looked at the Vermin and cried out, "Hey Asshole!"
And the Vermin replied, "What?!?!"
On the third day, Crom said, "Let them Hang Weight!" And he sent forth
Saint Bowline, Patriarch of Rigging, and he said, "Scheme of beams, beams
to abound, bring us the beams to hang all the sound!"
And Crom looked out and exclaimed, "Attitude check!"
And the Vermin replied, "Fuck-You!"
On the fourth day, Crom came forth and said, "Draw the Masses, taunt them
with T-shirts, Beer and Aftershow Passes. Bring them to the Monument, bring
them to Pray, to stand up, to charge forth and scream all the day."
The Vermin, confused, said, "Why do they get the prize?"
And Crom, amused, said, "Vermin, what's your jacket size?"
On the fifth day it was over. Crom cast his eyes across the ravaged Wasteland,
and was pleased. "Show your faith to the STEEL that you worship......take
the Monument down!"
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